Rating: 7.6

Country: USA

Release Date: 2006

Track list:
1. Anally Disemboweled (Weapons of Ass Destruction)
2. M.D.S.P.T.
3. Raped with a Jack Hammer
4. Menstrual Cunt Fart
5. Ice Pick Trachyotomy
6. Love 'Em and Cleave 'Em
7. Immersed In Pain (Jungle Rot Cover)
8. Lesbian Coprophagia
9. Gargling with Infected Semen
10. Dead Hungry

Band Website: Amputated

Amputated - Gargling With Infected Semen

Body Bag Daryl - Beaver Cleaver
Garry - Coffin Hammers
Morbid Mark - Sexist Hypocritical Biggot
Andy Bile - Wife Beating Bitch Slaps
Ollie Jones - Guitaaaaarrrrgghhh!!!

Now this is good! Rarely do you get something like this out of the limp and impotent brutal death metal scene, something with a kind of vivacity that is as infectious as it is alarming, something that would coerce the shy as well as the cynical elite into dropping their pretence and just diving into the moshpit and allowing their bodies to bend in ways which weren't anatomically possible earlier.

They are the porno deathmetallers Amputated, springing out surprisingly from the UK not USA, and taking with them this sub-genre to perverse depths hitherto unexplored. Their sound can be described as a commingling of Retch (Ben-Wa Baby Heads), Sanity's Dawn (Mangled In The Meatgrinder), Waco Jesus (Filth), Gorerotted (Mutilated In Minutes) and Cock and Ball Torture (split material) but the music experience, well you just have to hear it for yourself; no combination of words would do it justice. I'd still like to go ahead and make a lame attempt to describe the Amputated experience -

Imagine yourself fantasizing about massive tender tits while strolling in your neighbourhood park, when suddenly you slip on dog poop and crash right into an enormous anthill. Before you even realise what happened, you find that your body is engulfed with angry fucking red ants, each the size of your toenail. The burning sensation of their vengeful bites starts ringing incessantly from different parts of your body and there's little you can do about it. It's when you invariably become all red and delirious, start running and dancing, spasmodically and simultaneously, that a comparison to the effect Amputated's music would have on you begins to take shape. Eventually your blind running and jumping will lead you into a swing in which you will get stuck and find yourself oscillating jerkily back and forth. It will be as if you ran into a gigantic slingshot that just won't release its projectile – when this happens, the elastic hooks of Visceral Bleeding will come to mind like memories of your uber sexy ex-girlfriend you had a uber nasty break-up with. "Love 'Em And Cleave 'Em" is a good instance of that.

I hope the above gives you enough idea about their music for you to contemplate trading your slimy money for Gargling With Infected Semen. Man, this porno death album will make you feel virile enough to impregnate a fucking whale, and if you ask me, the moment of the fire-hose ejaculation comes during "Menstrual Cunt Fart". There may be some who would be apprehensive about their form of death metal but if it's any consolation, Amputated have the rad bastard Ollie from the revered death metal band Desecration playing for them. Also, you need not to be afraid of their intros if you have been previously subjected to bands like Torsofuck or Meat Shits, for though most of their songs have them, they are short and can be passed off as fun.

Now that I'm through with describing the ebullient music of Amputated, I feel it's my duty to extol the impressive feats of the frogging vocalist ‘Morbid Mark' and their stuttering drummer Garry. Morbid Mark is more of a morbid frog, a sexually excited one at that. Throughout the album he's exhorting in his frog voice and you as his befuddled slave, will leap exactly the way he wants you to. His voice has the texture of a ripping fart – you know the kind with the bursting of innumerable little air bubbles in superfast motion. And Garry, oh he is a fine drummer, fucking apt for this kind of music. With him it's not about the speed but the irresistibly catchy patterns and beats that he creates. So nimble and swift are his limbs that if there existed any kind of protracted hairy webbing between them and his body, he'd totally fly.

The ephemeral music on Gargling With Infected Semen isn't really original (duh), dynamic or particularly enthralling, but it's more fun than that of most bands from this sub-genre. If you were never into this porno brutal style of music, Amputated is the band that will get you into it, or at least into their music. So either way, stop being an elitist prick and go buy this.

October 3rd, 2006