Blood Freak - Live Fast, Die Young… And Leave A Flesh – Eating Corpse! - Reviews

My buddy Artie and I were watching a rerun of Scream the other night on that shitty broadcast station, TNT. Obviously, on cable TV they are not going to show tits, but this does not mean that voluptuous booby's should not be displayed in all movies; especially within the horror genre. As a matter of fact Miss Barrymore, it is our stern belief that you should make another slasher flick that gratuitously offers your large tits up for us to view over and over on the pause screen once it hits DVD. Besides, all horror movies should have what Blood Freak has cleverly entitled “Gore Tits” if they are to keep a semblance of the integrity that is rooted in those wonderful films of the mid 70's through early 90's. Actually, the way Artie and I see it is that this letter is more to your benefit than it is ours, for we can all agree that your movie career is sinking faster than the Titanic. Our evidence is the tripe that has recently hit the box office like Fever Pitch, 50 First Dates and Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle. Essentially, what we want you to do, Miss Barrymore, is simultaneously revive your slut appeal and career by making another gory horror flick, but this time you could have your big ole tits on jiggling display in several scenes. More importantly your new film should have cameos from other girls in Hollywood that seem reluctant to display them fabulous tits bulging from beneath their tight little blouses like Jessica Alba, Cameron Diaz, and Julia Stiles. Tit display ain't gonna hurt your career, look at Oscar winners Halle Berry and Reese Witherspoon who made crappy movies whose names aren't worth remembering, but recollecting them firm savory supple tit scenes give me a semi. Hell, you can even get all those girls to do an updated version of Bare Behind Bars with a gore/slash story line featuring a Turkey Monster, Maniac Neil, and the Butchermobile. With regard to the soundtrack, Blood Freak can provide the material thereby sparing us of a CD laden with despicable rap, nu-metal, and metalcore. Just remember Miss Barrymore, as much as we want to see them tits, really all we want is for your career to flourish. Please give this letter serious consideration.

Yup fans we sent that letter to Drew Barrymore and we would encourage you all to get your crusty wax filled ears into the new Blood Freak album ‘Live Fast, Die Young… And Leave A Flesh – Eating Corpse!' cause the music will surely inspire you to write at your best. If you haven't purchased the CD yet then don't fret, and don't kill yourself (Get a buddy to punch you in the throat as punishment.). Instead, you should use that energy to rob some EMO or metalcore fool of their cash without getting arrested. Why? Well it is cause ‘Live Fast, Die Young… And Leave A Flesh – Eating Corpse' is a stupendous mixture, of Thrash, Death Metal, Grindcore, and Goregrind of infectious proportions. It is an acid trip akin to something strangely out of a horror flick that only the imagination of Jim Morrison could produce, in that it is filled with the harmonies of creepy crawling worms and lizards of gooey shapes and monstrous sizes.

Actually, on ‘Live Fast, Die Young… And Leave A Flesh – Eating Corpse!', Blood Freak have taken a half step away from their work on ‘Sleaze Merchants'. The music is slightly less Grindcore and Goregrind in the style of Carcass, Impetigo and Haemorrhage while being less brutally gore than Neil Smith's work on Maniac Killer. Instead, the new Blood Freak has a sound that is a bit more akin to the work Smith has done on Frightmare and Lord Gore with a subtle drizzles of Whore's first album ‘Unfinished Business' in the loop to give the album a tight gore vibe and aura. More thrashy riffs are present than toilet paper pebbles in a hairy guys ass crack. Blazing arpeggio's rape the ears in a Rigor Mortis thrash attack while the tone, solos, and harmony of the guitar is reminiscent of Dismember and ubiquitous Entombed. Other rhythmic elements have been fused together from acts like Cathedral and Holy Terror to create a unique Blood Freak discord that will seduce a neophyte into horror film depravity. Now don't get me wrong Blood Freak fan-girls, ‘Live Fast, Die Young… And Leave A Flesh – Eating Corpse!' is still a fused Grindcore/Goregrind album, for time changes blended with rapid scales rip with Repulsion and Pungent Stench inspiration. By contrast the vocals on ‘Live Fast, Die Young… And Leave A Flesh – Eating Corpse' are slightly less puke but the robust gurgling provides a cacophony that suits the music like “ Gore Tits" in a slasher flick.

Overall the new Blood Freak album is exceptional. This fact is made more evident by a production that is somehow raunchy but clean. What is really killer about ‘Live Fast, Die Young… And Leave A Flesh – Eating Corpse!' is it is devoid of drum triggers, and pitch shifters. This is a welcome aspect in contrast to many bands that are too interested in enhancing crystalline brutality by busting out the Pro-Tools, broootal vocals, and triggered drums. Sure those types of enhancements work with some bands, but Old School fans know what the hell they are hearing and most detest too much of that technological shit in Metal. Therefore, let me be the first to thank Blood Freak in a review for keeping the Old School tradition alive.

Are you drooling yet? Then get off your rotund ass and head down to your favorite record shop or sit on your fat ass and order Blood Freak's ‘Live Fast, Die Young… And Leave A Flesh – Eating Corpse!' from a super killer label. Just remember that your hesitation to follow the above instructions may incur a wrathful visit from the nefarious Turkey Monster, his nymphomaniac pal Doctor Bitch, and a psychopath named Artie. Also, don't forget to write to that snob Drew Barrymore and her little holier than thou club of closet nymphs who act too good to show them tits in a horror film. Remember with your help we'll be seeing more tits in flicks, and with a little inspiration from the gods of horror, Blood Freak will be doing the soundtracks.