Release Date: 2006 Record Label: No Escape Records Track list: |
Cliteater/Suppository Split - Reign In Thongs
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Cliteater are: |
Suppository are: Robin - guitars |
What makes writing a review for Cliteater and Suppository for their split entitled ‘Reign in Thongs' stupendous is that I can mimic their style in my critique. Yup, I don't need to waste a ton of time coming up with amazing metaphors for the guitar play, profound allegory for the drums, vociferous imagery for the vocals, and some sort of half assed thematic irony for the drums. Nope, with Cliteater and Suppository I can be blatant and noisy sort of like Jake and Elwood in the scene from the movie the Blues Brothers where they have a boorish meal at a fine dining establishment. Friends, ‘Reign in Thongs' was made to be played at 3:00am at full blast after a night of binge drinking and bong puffing. If possible, one should pass out with booze in your blood and bud rotting your brain so that your egotistical fusion jazz listening neighbor can toss and turn for the rest of the early morning like a pussy getting double stabbed by two 12 inch cocks.
Cliteater leads off ‘Reign in Thongs' with the sounds of a wispy violin played sublimely… Nah, they come out of the box with the ugliness of a 410 pound fatty stuffed into a tube top and cut off Levis shorts. The guitar is waaaaaaaaay down tuned reminding me of a low growl emitted from a hungry lion whose blood stained head is buried in the exposed rib cage of a zebra as it digs for vital protein in the form of internal organs and tender crimson flesh. When they play fast they have a Grindcore savagery akin to cannibals crushing bone for medicine in a mortar bowl. Yet, when Cliteater change tempos and switch to a Goregrind groove the sound makes me think of a thick hottie gyrating my face between her luscious ass cheeks. The rhythm section of Cliteater has a punk undercurrent but is mostly frequented by seemingly crystal methamphetamine enhanced blast beats and snare rolls. Meanwhile Joost compliments the music with a series of patented gurgles giving me an impression of what it must sound like to swallow a massive 1 gallon bowl of barf. Overall the Cliteater sound reminds me of a gigantic wet hairy pussy with barely visible succulent lips. If you love the snarls of such bands as Neuro-Visceral Exhumation, Dead and Stoma yer gonna dig their fabulous style. My only complaint with their part of the split is the overlong sample from the movie Team America World Police that takes up portions of 2 songs. Still, in terms of sheer drunken debauchery Cliteater get a solid 7.5 for their end of a pulverizing split.
After being let down by a below average effort on their full length debut called ‘Punching Out Reality', I found myself attempting to shake off any preconceived notions about Suppository. Instead I discovered that they are a bougie worth shoving into a festering vagina. They play mostly straight forward Grindcore in a nice mix of Napalm Death and Nasum characteristics. The vocals have a Goregrind/Hardcore tone to them that is a shaken crossover of Resistant Culture meets Birdflesh. As a whole Suppository has a nice sounding production. This fact rings true during the breakdowns that provide a pleasant variance for the listener. They are crusty and vile making a malicious frenzy of uncontrolled Turrets Syndrome shouts, screams, belches, and head bangs unending. Actually, Suppository has the potential to be a great band if they choose to infuse more variables into their music like guitar licks, crazed solos, or even a harmonious injection of instruments into their mix other than the traditional guitar, bass, and drums. Surely a bit of well conceived technicality won't take away from their pug methodology, in that they have already proved they can play Grindcore. Overall Suppository gets a 6.8 and a hearty toast for their effort.
Let me tell you why you should buy this album: A couple of days prior to penning this review my 17 year old neighbor told me he thought “Goregrind was a trendy genre.” Now, I have far more tolerance for teenagers than I do for the majority of their 18 - 22 year old dubiously labeled adult counterparts who carry their stupid opinions into maturity, which is why I did not spew a barrage of cynical rhetoric in his pimpled face. That notwithstanding, I am quite amused by the “trendy' concept. Attention phony elite morons, all material is “trendy” whether it is your Metal pin covered backpack (Not unlike the one I had when I was a kid), your wanna-be unique collection of horror movies, pseudo intellectual book collection steeped in bogus ideologies you will give up as soon as you incur debt, or collection of deep underground Metal albums that both Adam Conrad and I have on our shelves. See, no matter how subtle of bloated; advertising whether from word of mouth or billboards make something “trendy.” But if you find that you are stupid enough to argue with me then here is a suggestion: Take everything that you own including your clothes and give it to some bogus multinational corporation fronted charity like the United Way. Then using only your bare hands, dexterity (provided you have some), and bloated sense of self, fashion a spear. Next go into the wilderness and hunt for food and find water with the hope that you won't get caught by some type of civil servant that returns you to our “trendy” world. See rubes, everything is a trend be it politics, or the clothes you wear to a concert with your conformists “Bros.” The only difference between a multi-corporation and a small business/label is their size, cause the truism of the situation is that they both want to become BIGGER. Until you idiots get smart enough to wage peaceful rebellion thereby bringing about utopia, or at least live in reasonable utilitarian moderation, I say “Shut the fuck up!!!!” With the afore written in mind, get out your “trendy” credit card or fold your well hidden “trendy” dead presidents winking at you about free-DUMB and democracy into an envelope that way you can buy the latest No Escape split release of Cliteater/Suppository called ‘Reign in Thongs'.
August 30rd, 2006
