Rating: 8.5

Country: Italy

Release Date: 2007

Record Label: Obscene Productions

Track list:
1.Quen cojones me anda tocando os juevos?01:06
2.A triste e distante relasión entre un vello e os intermitentes do seu coche03:54
3.Viva o xarabe da tos!02:51
4.El asesino de la braja02:54
5.Tampón YO-YO03:04
6.Non Jano Pa´ Couldinas03:23
7.Festival Anal03:12
8.Tu Leche Me Recuerda a Feiraco03:18
9.Los Niños No Deberían Meter Objetos03:02
10.Taboo Room (Gut Cover)02:08

Band Website: Cripple Bastards

Cripple Bastards - Blackmails and Assholism

A six-hour double-disc documentary-film production chartin' their progress from pugnacious, cack-handed Hardcore Punk duo right the way thru to their crustulated present-day Grindcore uproar! There's much chat about their history, influences, activities ‘n' creative processes, with a whole catalogue o' entertainin' live vids along the way.

Disc #1:

Documentary 1988-1998

This is a detailed commentary of their activities within the abovegiven timeframe, featurin' lots o' early rehearsals and live footage, along with plenty o' cover-art images, showin' us all the inlays from vintage tapes and splits and so on. Giulio the Bastard talks us through it, tellin' us stories about their inception under the name Grimcorpses, showin' us such vintage-video gems as a very youthful two-piece Cripple Bastards at their first practice inside an ol' flour mill, and their incongruous appearance afore puzzled punters at a gatherin' called Melody Festival! There's also footage of an early gig where the sound-man zeroes all the channels and replaces the set with a Euro-Dance CD, after their fans began twattin' the other punters with chairs! To be honest, the shouty-arsed, sloppy D-beat riddled din which they create at this gig is so abominable, the band ought to have been on the receivin' end of the lobbed furniture! Giulio also gives us a nicely presented look through their inspirations and the development of their sound, skippin' through the covers of classick EPs and CDs from Larm thru to Cryptic Slaughter, along with Noisegrind oiks like Anal Cunt, Seven Minutes of Nausea, Sore Throat et al, as well as Earache hallmarks by Terrorizer, Napalm Death ‘n' Carcass.

There's a whole host o' ol' rehearsals ‘n' live appearances here but I think the early stuff is my favourite, ‘cos their fresh-faced appearance and ultra-primitive Punkish tantrums is similar to watching a short film starrin' two cute puppies peepin' out of a pair of Tartan slippers. There's a glimpse into their favoured recreational pursuits of the time, with some dexterous mid-rehearsal administration o' communal conical paper-clad herbal tubes. You'll also hear about their vandalism-inclined pastimes, with a look at some pics o' them posin' alongside smashed-up cars ‘n' such-like. Mr. the Bastard also reminisces about United Extremist Records, his DIY label which was named in tribute to their loutish hobbies at the time, and such recordings as their early 300 song demo tapes, the splits with Violent Headache and good ol' Agathocles, their Life's Built on Thoughts 7 inch and an appearance on the infamous Slap-a-Ham compilation, Son of Bllleeeeaaauuurrrrgghhh!. Our laid-back Cripple-lectures with Prof. the Bastard are often interspersed with short interviews with ex-axeman and ex-drummer, namely Alberto the Crippler and Michele Hofman. Hofman, who certainly has a knack for clarity ‘n' concision, gives us a lighthearted summary of his time with the band, while Mr. Crippler has a chat with us about his effect pedals.

Movin' towards the early 90s, there's footage of an outdoor gig in Prinz Eugen, which involves a laughably bad performance from the two-piece, with clunky riffs through a cellophane-thin guitar sound; along with clumsy drums ‘n' diffident vokills. Along the way, we also get to see a few images o' the band greedily inhalin' from bags o' glue, proudly holding up the empty tubes. Bleugh! The mid-90s sees the departure of Hofman from the Cripple camp, although he did hang around for long enough to help out with the recordin' of Your Lies in Check, which, to these contused ears, is easily their finest moment. Recorded at Acqualuce with Marco Milanesio, wherein and whomwith they had previously created their split with Carcass Grinder and a 4-way double 10 inch split with Power Violence luminaries Capitalist Casualties and some others, the disc would see them make the transition from lo-fi fuzz ‘n' crackle to a much clearer, comprehensible sound, but still retainin' their loose ‘n' scruffy edge. Eduardo ‘O' Brazil joins to lend his low-end to Your Lies… as well as to a squat gig, playin' alongside Endless Hate, Fuck Off and Scum of Society. Footage of the event is shown, which involves rather a slapdash set, with some hideous, feedback-riddled vox. Gigs with more Power Violence legends, namely Drop Dead and Stack, would follow, along with an appearance at ‘Two Days of Struggle' festival, plus the recruitment of new bassist Paulo. The stage o' their career sees a clear improvement in their material and performance, with enhanced tune solidity, greater momentum, and a fuller, more flowin' overall sound. The fest footage shows the new, improved Bastards, especially Giulio; whose ear-splittin', blood-curdlin' screams come across like a highly disgruntled pterodactyl!

US Tour, East Coast – May 2002

Havin' gorged yerselves on many Cripple facts ‘n' fancies, it's time to relax with a forty five minute live medley. The visual representation ranges from lo-fi grain to quiverin' slo-mo pinkness, with a fluctuatin' sound quality; some shows have nice clear kit and bass-end crushery, but with slim guitar sound and frequent vox loss, while others sound like they band were playin' in their sleepin' bags, and some are just a large noise-wall. The set-list is a crowd-pleasin' greatest hits collection. The backstage/on the road footage between gig clips is a treat; with lots o' silly banter in the tour van, and a funny trip to the service station to buy some breakfast, where Giulio mocks every food item in sight. Giulio's head looks a right mess, all covered in bright red wounds; possibly from bashin' himself with the mic too much!

US Tour, West Coast – October 2003

This is more focused on live footage, with a similar set-list and the same variation in sound quality. All gigs shown get highly rowdy, with plenty o' frantic crowd reactions to the vicious, sweat-covered performances, especially when they pull out favourites like "Being Ripped Off". There are a few bits o' offstage amusement, such as an interview next to the van with a pair of bubble-headed blonde girls, and the lads just messin' about and havin' fun between shows.

Disc #2

Documentary 1998 – 2007

This opens on interviews with new members Fulvio Hatebox and Schintu the Wretched, who played a lengthy list o' dates around Europe, whilst Alberto stayed at home and worked on material for Misanthropo…. afore leavin' the band altogether. There's a fun clip of a gig where Mr the Bastard reduces one o' the speakers to a smoulderin' mess due to ‘extreme noise'! Movin' into the 00's, we have anecdotes from the whole band concernin' the nihilistic concepts behind Misantropo Senso Unico, discussing the importance of the lyrics and highly aggressive overtone of the material, nicely accompanied with live performances of the relevant tunes. The interviews note the sizeable progression made with on the album, which steered the band even further away from their Noise/Grind style, and more in the direction of their Hardcore Punk roots, but with a heavier emphasis upon coherent composin'.

Further personnel shuffles took place, with new drummer Al Mazzoti and bassist Der Kommisar from Entropia joining the band to form a re-solidified line-up ready to play a pile o' local shows and a European tour, footage of both of which is of course included. The tour also allowed Giulio to play a gig in his homeland Yugoslavia , dedicatin' a raucous ‘Stimmung' to his brethren. There's pleasant clips o' their stay in the Czech Republic, where they had already gained a loyal followin', along with stories of an over the top show in Slovakia, where so many people attended, the camera became moisture-logged in the sweaty atmosphere! Stories of their squat gigs in Germany tells of their grind-fatigue, brought on by playin' til the early hours, then bein' woken up by their hosts crankin' out the tunes at full volume at 6am. Giulio was affected the worst; the combination o' sleep deprivation and eatin' all wrong durin' the tour had him vomitin' all over the front row during one gig, with the crowd merrily cheerin' him on! Giulio also tells us a funny tale of stayin' with a promoter who had them sleep at his ‘dog lodge' rather than have them in his house. The band did manage to make light of the situation, with a daft Black Metal vid, wavin' flamin' torches about the place, whilst grimacin' and gurnin'!

Next, the members talk about their friendship with Curby from Obscene Productions which is a fun section includin' vids of them relaxin' and havin' a laugh together, and their appearance at the very first Obscene, which Curby organized to celebrate his birthday. Back then, the stage was a lorry with the tarpaulin pulled aside! There's plenty o' very ol' OEF clips included, along with nice footage o' Curby's most intimate piercings! Their live set at OEF '03 follows, and rounds off the release.

An exhaustive documentary replete with all manner o' insights, explanations, discussions and reminiscence, interspersed with big, steamin' fistfuls o' live footage and rehearsal tapes. As long as you don't mind readin' subtitles, then you ought to find this documentary to be a nostalgic Cripple Bastards reminisci-package. Many may consider that the very old footage is a steamin' ol' heap o' tripe, but I found it just as much fun to watch. If you're a newcomer to the works o' this band, or simply just enjoy a casual listen to the odd mp3 or two, then this might be a bit too much Cripple Bastards to digest in one sitting, especially some o' the extremely scruffy stuff from the early days. However, if you have an enormous penchant for the act, then this ought to be at the top of your Grind DVD shopping list!

May 7th, 2008