Lapidate - Taxidermy Tea Party

Rating: 6.0

Country: Canada

Release Date: 2004

Track list:
1. Disgorged Abortion
2. A Perfect Woman...Some Assembly Required
3. Confessional Outhouse [Holy Shit]
4. Dead and Tagged...Bound and Gagged
5. Botched Colostomy
6. Gynaecological Fist Insertion
7. 1 Finger, 2 Finger, 3 Finger, 4...
8. Unlicensed Gender Bender
9. Post-Castration Urination
10. Trading Faces
11. Erotic Adventures of a Splattered Cadaver
12. Anal Spew Stew
8. Rape of Sanity [MP3]
9. Queer Eye for the Metrosexual

Band Website: Lapidate

Lapidate - Taxidermy Tea Party

Darrell Kelly : Bass
Gord Brown : Guitar
Mike Verlinden : Vocals
Erich Kennedy : Drums and backing vocals

I found this in the Kolobos Distribution sale for a mere three quid, thence allowing me to make an affordable impulse buy with the potential to be a brootal bargain that displays the talents of a band I may have otherwise overlooked, with the price tag cushioning any disappointment should it have proved to be an unsatisfactory release. A few tracks into my first listen, the age old saying 'you get what you pay for' suddenly became appropriate in describing my new compact disc acquisition. Lapidate play conventional thus generic Brutal Death Metal whose entire sound serves chiefly as a characteristic example of how lacklustre a sizeable chunk of the subgenre is becoming, its once mindblowing elements beaten threadbare by musicians such as themselves, content to plumb the deepest bowels of musical degeneracy in producing blunt, rudimentary songs attuned the very basest interpretative centres of the listener's brain.

'Taxidermy Tea Party' opens with sample featuring Sadu: Master of the Theatre of the Macabre, which was effective several years ago but has of course been done-to-death by countless bands since. Such a hackneyed intro sets the scene well for the rather derivative material that follows. Crude, subhuman riffs, pit chugs and rhythms that pose no challenge in being traced back to their original owners, almost imperceptible bass and standard brootal drumwork with a biscuit tin-lid snare taking precedence over the entire kit, finished with those now ubiquitous cupped mic grunts and eructations, occasionally twinned with throaty backing squawks.

They remind me of Devourment and old Fleshgrind as well as Splattered Cadaver or Corpsefucking Art in their relentless simplicity, with a knuckedragging subhumanity worthy of early Waco Jesus and Lividity, also sharing a little obtuse misogyny with those bands. Elsewhere I was reminded heavily of Brodequin, predominantly in the drumming but also in the mudsubmerged overall sound, accompanied by one or two sly nods to Sepultura circa a couple albums prior to Cavalera's departure.

However, in spite of many borrowed riffs and well-worn brootal trappings are in place, I find it easy to appreciate a reassembled reiteration of extreme Death/Grind on the condition that it is very well executed and has a good sound production that doesn't deduct anything from the overall entertainment value. This material can be loosely described as rounded and Lapidate's performance is energetic and proficient but these advantages are more or less eradicated by an atrocious production. The guitar is hampered by an oversaturated sound that removes weight from the low end and negates any potential crunch from the top with its grainy fizz and viscous, muddy churn. The vokills meanwhile are fairly consistent until the drummer trades the lead off with raw, glottal backing screams, whereby the unequal level of each voice damages the effective contrast, the backups mixed much higher and with greater clarity than the lead gutturals, which are in turn left sounding subdued and muffled.

However, I must admit to having listened to the album several more times than that which I would usually give to a release of its nature, despite the lack of originality and the detrimental production. The CD has an inexplicable charm about it. Their prominent sense of humour lends itself well to giving the band a little more identity, such as the amusing film samples and quaint Cybergore track hidden at the end of the album. Of course, it can be difficult for Brutal/Slam Death bands to add technical edge or progressive experimentation in a subgenre whose primitive components provide little scope for its artists to grow within its confines. Anyway, rather than leaving the CD to collect dust and/or to complement the Brutal Death completism of one's collection, I tried to interpret Lapidate's material in the context of a clearer sound, which would assist in making it more memorable and easier to get into, albeit without employing many remarkably progressive or risk-taking methods in their musicianship. 'Taxidermy Tea Party' may have benefited from production assistance from Rich Lipscomb or Roger Beaujard. Having both produced as well as performed in many uncompromising, barbaric outfits, either of these gentlemen or a producer of similar experience at the helm, would help Lapidate to uproot and wring out from this aural silt swamp a sound that can perhaps outweigh their Brutal Death bromides and, to an extent, make a virtue out of them through a more focused production that allows a greater degree of listening enjoyment. According to a website featuring the band, can't remember if it was their homepage or not, Lapidate are scheduled to release their next album on Unmatched Brutality, a move that will certainly help take them to the next level.

This will appeal to the more insatiable fans or completists of the Brutal Death genre, but will hopefully give everyone else a name to keep in mind should they harness their full potential on later offerings.

September 30th, 2005