Rating: 5.7

Country: Germany

Release Date: 2007

Record Label: Fallen Angel

Track list:
1.Psalm I
2.Psalm II
3.Psalm III
4.Psalm IV
5.Psalm V
6.Stacheldraht
7.Genital Putrefaction (R.I.P.)
8.Imperium smierci*
9.Zemsta

Band Website: Nebiros

Nebiros - Stacheldraht

Blachur - Vocals, guitars, bass
Solvernus - Drums

Many years ago when I was just a kid and my parents would occasionally take my siblings and I out to one of our favorite restaurants for dinner, I was always notorious for being the one sibling that ended up bringing about much unwanted public embarrassment and shame to my family. What I would always do from the moment I sat down with my family to order food was to play the role of mad scientist by experimenting with whatever condiments that were at my disposal. As soon as our complimentary glasses of ice water were served I would go right to work allowing my childlike curiosity get the best of me. I'd take anything I could get my grubby little hands on be it sugar, ketchup, cole slaw, pickles, dairy creamer, my own mucus, etc., and pour them all together in my own glass of water and then watch the outcome with wide eyed enthusiasm. Of course there was no real or valid point to this mischief but only to see how far I could disgust my older sister to the point of making her lose her appetite. By now, dear reader you're probably asking yourself why I've started this review with such a pointless little anecdote to which I can only reply that basically, listening to this German duo's take on Blackened Death Metal (or Deathened Black Metal?) instantly reminds me of those times. To elaborate here, this entire nine song affair comes across sounding like a drooling, disfigured and mentally retarded offspring born from a botched attempt at splicing together the DNA of Autopsy, Dismember, Blasphemy, Beherit, and old Carcass. While I do appreciate and even give much respect to the band's obvious nod to the early forefathers of both the Death and Black Metal genres respectively (and paying homage to boot) unfortunately however, it tends to sound like a sloppy, staticy sound collage at times.

From the very moment you hit the play button which begins the first track, "Psalm I" you're immediately left with the impression that the entire thing was more or less the outcome of spontaneity or rather perhaps, an impromptu jam. In other words, rather than taking the time to actually sit down and write actual "songs" with memorable hooks, riffs, etc., instead both dudes just got ridiculously drunk one day on cheap beer, self mutilated themselves silly with the remants of the broken bottles they drank the beer out of and just decided to crank out whatever came to their minds in their rehearsal space. Perhaps it has something to do with simply opting for a more "br00tal" approach than say, a more stylized and mature affair like in the vein of Shining, Drudkh, Evocation or whatever which is fine if innovation isn't your thing, otherwise Nebiros' sound seems to be nothing more than a fragmented hodgepodge of plagiarism. To give you an example,  "Psalm II" basically begins, continues and ends with nothing more than the monotonously slow and head nodding plod of Autopsy worship, complete with a Swedish guitar tone (again, think Dismember here) without any climax or anything creative enough to at least jar you out of your comatose stupor until finally you wake up and realize that "Psalm III" already began three minutes ago, that is when "Psalm II" just happened to bleed its way into "Psalm III" by way of picking up where it fell flat.

While I do enjoy the Swedish influenced guitar tone (always have in fact) just because it lends a more colder, wintery effect unfortunately it doesn't prove to be such a great asset during the ridiculously fast and Beherit inspired wall of sound moments because it gets quite grating to the ears. In fact, have any of you ever played an on-line shooter like Rainbow Six, Counter Strike, etc. and experienced the dreadful lag where suddenly the sound of gunfire overlaps drowns everything out around you until you feel like you've been handcuffed to a giant cement mixer dating back to WW II era? Yup, just picture that for a moment and you'll understand where I'm coming from here. Again all that could be attested to the fact that these guys obviously wanted to offend rather than appease their audiences. If only they had heard of Profanatica.

To add to the list of major offenses here are the vocals. Now granted, I understand that the bandmembers' native tongue is German which isn't necessarily something I'd fault them for but honestly, listening to the vocals being grunted and growled in their own language makes for some unintentionally humorous moments. Try to imagine Carcass' Jeff Walker reciting passages from Mein Kampf and you'll get the idea. During certain moments, I even expected to hear the accompanying bromp, bromp, bromp sound of military boots going off in the distance.

If JL America (remember them?) was still up and running today then chances are Nebiros would have most likely been signed to their roster and badly promoted just like the dozen or more awful bands they screwed over nearly 15 years ago. Otherwise anyone with even an ounce of intelligence should perhaps avoid this one. About the only good thing they do is basically impersonating their influences the way a good comedic impressionist does with celebrity personalities and that's not really saying much.

June 15th, 2008